Piña Colada

The Piña Colada is a super iconic drink. It instantly brings to mind beaches on far off islands. If you're lucky enough to have spent time in the Caribbean, you've likely had one delivered to you poolside, while basking in the warmth of the sun (and if you're pasty like me, praying you put enough sunscreen on). It may even have been served in a coconut or pineapple, adding to its exotic charm. Sadly, it probably wasn't very good, but you drank it anyway, because fuck it! You're in paradise!

Songs have been written about the Piña Colada, and many a hangover can be attributed to poorly made ones. It's a cocktail that, in it's simplicity, seems hard to fuck up. And yet, how many of you can say you've had a really good one? From cheap, shitty rum, to too much sugary sweetness, it's a drink that can go very, very wrong. But I've got you covered. The below recipe will have you well on your way to a better tropical drinking experience. Possibly one worth singing that terrible Jimmy Buffet song about. 

Let it be known that the standard recipe for the Piña Colada calls for Coco Lopez. I personally think that it's too sweet and there are a TON of preservatives in it, so instead I use the Trader Joe's brand Coconut Cream. I just heat it up on the stove in a pan, add about 1 tablespoon of brown sugar and some homemade vanilla extract and heat it until the sugar is fully dissolved. Feel free to use the Coco Lopez if you're feeling lazy, or you just like a sweeter drink. Also, I juice my pineapples fresh in my Breville Juicer. It was a great investment, for less than $100. But if you don't want to go to the trouble, unsweetened pineapple juice is best.

With the weather warming up again, you can mix up a batch of these bad boys at your next party so you don't get stuck in the kitchen making cocktails while you're friends have all the fun. Cheers!

Piña Colada

  • 3 oz Unsweetened Pineapple Juice
  • 2 1/2 oz Aged Rum (I like Plantation Rum. Puerto Rican, Dominican or Cuban rums work well too)
  • 1 oz Coconut Cream

Combine ingredients in a blender and blend on high with 6 or so ice cubes until smooth. Pour into a tall glass. The Hurricane Glass is a common choice, and IKEA has them for super cheap. Garnish with a silly umbrella and some yummy Trader Joe's Coconut Strips.

*Blended Drink Tip: If you crack your ice with a barspoon first before adding it to the blender, it will make for a smoother drink. Unless, of course, you have one of those badass Vitamixers. In which case, you can just throw those suckers in whole and watch it devour the cubes like one of Daenerys Targaryen's dragons.